<3 I love.

:) :) YAYY. I am back where I belong. When I do fun stuff that really pleases MYSELF. It’s an exciting jittery feeling, the stress nibbling at me and the exhilaration is refreshing.

And it seems like my last year doing Forensics, I’m going to do it PROPERLY. Have the bucket loads of fun involved, do the whole lot of work involved independently, do it with loads of people and spread that enthusiasm. Everyone involved is cool, similar love.

:( I’ve been at it since watching in Form One until now. Over so sooon. :(

And gosh, the pressure is stressful. What if I’ve underperformed after my stint last year? People expect something now, I’m no longer The Amateur. :s I’ll be a Form Fiver and that deep deep desire to win is… strong.

Who wants to hang out with me for research/ reconnection/ practice? I’ll have to stock up on “Stories to Manipulate” and “Extemp. Necessities”. Come come.

 

 

So I left the tournament workshop earlier than I preferred to (the atmosphere in itself is enthralling!), but I think Ben 10 was worth it. Victor was a darling, I’m such a proud and happy Big Sister.

I’m so proud of Victor for waiting his turn and all. He politely asks staff before charging ahead of the lines, lets other kids act all childish and demand their gifts, laughs at EVERY feeble joke by the emcee, smile the hugest smile ever when Ben appears in costume. Carefully studies his ticket and crinkles like a gambler when every lucky draw number is announced. Explains every monster to Mom.

He’ll be such a gentleman, YAYY. :D :D (Teenage sisters want their kid brothers to become gentlemen. :p)

And the show isnt bad either. And we’re loaded with Ben 10 merchandise.

Oh I love my brother so so much.

 

Today sums up everything nice, for me. Emotional growth= +ve.

dose of today’s oversleep.

Bzzz. I am sleeping more than I should already. Hours awake are already bugged down with fuzziness of oversleep. So typical of a Victoria’s holiday. :(

 

My excuse for today’s exhaustion is: Yesterday. Blah, excuses justify such stupid things.

 

School on Thursday made up something to motivate me for the next year. The really cool anticipation working up to our magazine (we counted down upon receiving phone calls from the lorry! :D), Pn M’s happy happy excitement, good response (every teacher was reading it, at one point), the whole “OOOOH. School yearbook is here!” thing.

Oh niceee. Made every midnight and search for “missing megabyte of magazine, hopelessly in the sky” worth it. And all pages with my meddling, proudddd. :D :D (Do all Edi members feel this way? It is lovely!)

And I think it is pretty nice in overall, better than expected. :)

 

Yesterday, I lugged stacks of yearbooks with my jelly-like muscles.

Then the car tyre poofed. GAHH, it was horrible.

Miscommunication peaked, tempers flared. Mom (who is suffering from mid-week exhaustion) looks for causes and never gets to the solution, GAHH. Dad (who had like 2 hours of sleep previous night and lousy phone calls) becomes ridiculously annoying, offering lousy solutions and making “I think you might be stupid enough, so ...” suggestions. Grandparents & young cousins add to the pressure of having to look for a comfortable solution. I being young and RASH- walked, looked for sloooow solutions, organized taxi trips and actually sorting out the spare tyre/ tools nonsense.

DIRTY dirty work, for Oldest Kids Only with Moms in panic and Dads in rationale-paralysis. Blah.

I really felt hot tears coming at one point, became annoyed with myself and stiffened.

A little time away and some action finally resolved things.

 

So I went home and slept all night.

Form 4 is out. OVERR so soon. O.o

Victor is sad today, says he misses his friends. He drew SAD SMILEYS on the mist upon the windows. And started listing out things they like to do. Aww. :(

Val is becoming An Annoying Middle Child.

 

Soo. I prescribe even more sleep and an educational initiative later.

 

Tomorrow seems like good fun. Reconnection with certain things I am in love with and brother-cousin nonsense. :)

tinkered messed tired

HEYY. My previous posts have been fuelled by extreme bouts of contentment.

 

In exchange for my blastedly boring day to blabber on about or issues that are rather harder to contemplate and convey effectively/ relevantly-

  

I feel like floating in my dad’s huge sweater (excuse me, mine’s in the closet, dad’s was on the ironing board). And then, stare at the fan for a while.

 

PHSCHT.

I’m drunkedly sleepy and programmed-mechanical. Anything will annoy me, grr.

Like making my brother’s “Thank You, Teacher” card. WHATEVER FOR?

Like finding glue and scissors, which my mom shifts so often.

Like reflecting and solving. I just want to avoid. Even more so, relational ones.

Like offering more of me. My commitments are aside the whole point.

 

Kay. Need sleep, over and out.

sore throats mean good times.

I have been:

screaming my lungs out.

We’ll scream loud at the top of our lungs,
And they’ll think it’s just cause we’re young,
And we’ll feel so alive.

Boys Like Girls, The Great Escape.

Most should know by now- my high-pitched scream is super awesome. And yeps, Sunway Lagoon with the cousins was very fun.

>> Well, the cousins are both 5. They had loads of fun, it was sweet. :) :)

(Hah, and I’m fought over as the Best Big Sister Ever. Come on, I cue the time to scream on “big” rides. :p)

 

>> Val and I spent few hours by ourselves, trying EVERY ride in town. Cause it was relatively quiet and lines are short- bliss. :)

>> But I hate it that theme parks in Malaysia FAILL to keep the mood running in between rides. Everywhere, you see whiny people that squirm in the humid heat, tired grandparents that look like Grumpy The Gnome and bored people navigating the park.

>> AND my uncle and this huge stranger is nuts. The 360-degree spin was bad enough, it was sick. And they laughed. I was quivering with fear and yet they triggered nutty laughing.

>> Rempits that pepper the area are syok. Take a whole ride with them and my lungs feel stronger. Cue the hollering.

>> I am in love with ghost houses. They’re bad for my heart, I hate shock. And my only weapon felt like my scream, hence I screamed. Even for fun.

Cheap horror bonds strangers- we watch out for each other and cheer at its lameness. So cool.

 

I have also been:

singing and hollering the midnights away. :D :D

It’s nice that my sister knocks out drunk with oversleep. My brother falls asleep to Cartoon Network and the whole house is mine.

Blast Boys Like Girls, and my feel good day is complete. Ignites such a pretty, rock-it-out mood.  At midnight, I do everything I like till I’m dizzy-tired.

And I wake up later with 5 hours of sleep, completely excited. I like this.

 

There is so much of fun to LIFE. <3

Laughter dims every trouble and all is well. Now, I need to make my sore throat worse to amplify the fun. :p

genuinely euphoric.

distaste at the title cause it sounds so drugged, but I cant remember what that happy hormone/ biochemical stimulant is called. And happy just looks so commercial.

But it’s been a REALLY GOOD WEEK.

To continue reading, I suggest a good deal of interest and care into my life, because these are the “what happened” posts and not the thought-induced ones. I generally dont like reading these kind of updates, but it depends on the person. If you (for lack of a better word) VIRTUAL-STALK and enjoy it, you would understand my predicament.

I’ll number them, cause lists multiply the gempak factor. I’ll take extra effort to write till the list becomes a double digit one. :) :)

 

ONE.

 

Victor and I just won BEN 10 tickets to the premiere. He chose his favourite monster/ hero/ whatever it is. I wrote a slogan, of which I’m PRIZE-WINNING-LY GOOD at. :D (Second time in one year. That PSP’s already seldom used at my place but, HEEHEE.)

HAHA, and Victor practically screamed in excitement. :) :) I love it when he’s this excited. Never mind skipping part of Forensics workshop, I’ve been there one too many times. Insert economics concept: Opportunity cost.

But I stand firm, fantasy good-looking guys dont make me melt and Ben 10 is really a stupid show. Mind-boggling concept.

 

TWO.

ICSMKA just pulled off a very fun party.

It’s nice when everyone had fun, Interactors contributed and actually got excited (!), plans worked and food went around generously enough, even after slicing budgets. :) :)

BOD picture Number Three.

 

THREE. Some teachers are worth loving. Not for academic benefit, but for truly caring. To be surprised with a two-page recommendation letter is wicked sweet; it’s so sweeter that she noticed such things and feels such a way.

>> But I’ve been reprimanded for using negative words- wicked with positivity. Heh, the literary contrast is cool. :(

 

FOUR. Then again, some teachers are worth loving cause they love you and they also care. HEEHEE, her favour remains a secret. But to get these unexpected favours done is lovely.

>> But to be rewarded with AWESOME exam marks from her is gut-wrenching. Since it was marking by impression, what if I didnt deserve them? :(

 

FIVE. Thenn. Happiness is

when someone commends me for my writing.

(HEEHEE, let me bask in praise every other day. It boosts ego.)

>> But I dislike it that it was such careless work and I didnt expend much effort. :S My writing style works professionally though, and convincingly. 

 

 

SIX. ICSMKA has cool cool plans that now seem so realistic, I am excited. Very very excited. Await HUGE successes amidst all the mistakes we’ll make. :p

SEVEN.

When my academics rocks, in overall. :D :D Being right on top (yeps, can you feel my inflated ego?) assures my extensive laziness, secures my over-freedom cum. social life and looks good in teachers’ record books/ results slip.

>> Dont bother for a while, but how did EVERYTHING slip? SCARY.I’ll have to start revising in detail, for my own good.

 

 

EIGHT.

Spontaneous sleepover with The Bestest Friend ever.

No elaborations, it was just fun. The things that we do together is increasingly non-comprehendible. Minus the camera and normal stuff. It’s different.

 

NINE. Sunway Lagoon with cousins and uncles and aunts tomorrow. Glee. I’m going to please the daredevil in me, even if the lines to roller coaster rides take ages.

 

TEN.

The school magazine is coming on Monday!

Eeeks, it’s finally done and I’ve been more involved in it than ever. :D :D

Feels really cool. This is love.

>> Announcement: Come on the days you’re supposed to. Magazine distribution in process. Else, wait for next year. :( :(

 

ELEVEN.

School is finally ending.

The good times that await me, glee. To do everything I likey. And I’m going to benefit my brains and read different disciplines of knowledge. Trust me. :p

 

TWELVE.

the family mascot lah. :p

The spirit that runs in the family now seems promising.

There’s more bumblebee-cheer over worry, strain and work lines, and rosey-hope. And butterfly-chatter, and grasshopper-activity. :D

 

THIRTEEN.

My happiness/ excitement is spreading over very vast aspects of my life.

Enough nonsense, life is good now. Very very good. :)

Now, who wants to watch a movie with me? JOM. Makan kat mamak pun boleh.

tattering.

I’m so wide awake, it is annoying.

My interpretation of pretty seems to have drifted. It doesnt mean things that look pleasant, or “match-made-in-heaven” put together or clean sleek. Right now, I’m in that awed/ stunned/ muted/ amazed phase that dictates that anything new/ different/ something I havent come across/ terribly clever is pretty.

Maybe, I’m too lazy to find The Adjective to describe my fanaticism. But voodoo dolls that look like this: X/ in bright yellow OR new versions of softwares and outrageous reads. That’s just… pretty.

Yeah, my brain is numbed by stupidity/ laziness/ clots.

 

I dont like it when we get tired and snappy. It then becomes too easy to forget, about the things that eventually matter, like being on talking terms. It’s so easy for Victor to “not be friends”, go for a bath and come back and “be friends” again. Hee, it takes childhood.

I hate it when that something comes in between my regular days. The numbers and the stress and the demands. I also hate it when I dont talk about certain stuff to regular folks, but it affects me and I shut up instead. And I still do.

I like racing with others when I do Add Math. So funnn. The answers at the back of the book become highly necessary then, to triple-check my adrenaline-induced brain jumble. I need focus-training.

 

Will pen more thoughts tomorrow, shall pack school bag now. Eeks, I’m in dire need of that Ranger uniform’s trousers. The one with the 15 inch zip and is too long and baggy for me. Positive I bought the guys’ trousers then. HAIH, my lust for certificates and escapades lead me to the oddest of events, with the most disgusting dress codes.

doinks.

heehee. darling victor’s report card reads:

Social Development:
… He is much sought after by his many friends.

GEE. Now, he thinks he’s really cool. Hahaha.

 

Besides little interruptions in my day, I think this freedom is really fun. :D

Enter a post title.

the last few days passed so… indistinctly.

There is nothing in these days that I am proud of, will remember, affected me greatly or blah. I trudge (there is no verb in my head that can precisely describe the speed and passion of my actions) through my daily activities, sleep and eat. No bother to accomplish anything, but to sleep.

pretty wonderful, but a horribly bleak, vacant, obligatory, lazyyyy way of doing things.

my brain is rather like a self-destructing organ;
muted,
completely incapable of progress,
failing
to process any external stimuli,
disconnected to the extent of disinterest to learn 
anything new (me and my lessons- FAILL, O.o),
woozy and not churning out
intelligent thoughts,
bleak and not motivating me to start again. Over-rested, maybe. :p

(Heh. and i though hitting enter makes it look cooler. –.-)

Ooh, my memory’s flickering. To steal someone’s words to express my doozy state: “Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen, even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind.”

This disintegration of my intellectual and emotional capacity, loss of usual vigour is making me content (socially) and comfortable (physically). :D

My ability to spur out precise vocabulary is atrocious(!). I’m so incapable of expressing anything simply. :S

 

This is a Form 4 post-exams syndrome. (So far, straight As. Safe and faintly sweet. Screw my expectations for a little while more, I’ll get straight A+ next time. :D)

OH OH. and the bank officer said I have a sweet smile AND made me feel very grown-up today. Hahah. :D

Byebye.

we are golden; at least I am.

as usual, I brush things away after some stiffening up. Avoidance maybe, but  to say my days then go by easier, definitely. Tears dry up, your eyes sting, and after sleep, BLAHH.

Cause, there’s that hypothesis I read, the higher the IQ, the lower your EQ.

Heehee, assuming I’m considerably more brain-potent (whoops, :p), this hypothesis remains the best explanation of my failure to comprehend emotions- mine or others.

One day I feel alone/ upset/ in conflict with someone, and the next, I’m not too bothered anymore.

 ---

Sarah’s birthday was a good night with them girls. I love her a lot, and I love them girls too. The company takes my mind off things, fun comes first. :D

We’re all 16 and sexayy, I noticed. The point where everyone of us just starts wearing pretty stuff. :D

 

 

---

Exams marks werent so pretty lah. I’m jealous of improvements. There are those who failed their mid-terms and then, aced their finals. LIKE WHOAA. I’ve my one or two [90-somethings before to 70-ish-s now].

Crushed, but I’m still doing okay; I know where and how to brush up, LATER. (:

But personally, it’s BLAH. I’ve grown up with different standards to achieve. They’re never in fear of my parents and their “punishments” (no more fun trips, :O), but for myself to please and to prove. I like it this way.

 

---

MY BUTT IS A PROBLEM. A HUGE ONE.

I’m not conscious of how huge it is lah, and it’s good for my confidence. Dont make me stare at it, butt-staring oldies. It may be a prosperous butt by culture, OR my uniform’s skirt is just FOUR years old and I’ve grown.

“Dont give up on food dear, this size looks good on you.”
I like food, thankyouverymuch. –.-

BUT GRR. It really is weird getting comments on my butt from THREE well-aged ladies on one schooling day. GOSHHH.

(I may start browsing through every photo of myself in uniform to illustrate my bum, but this is a child-friendly site and bums are prohibited.)

---

And I think my dad’s going to start reading my spot. (It seems my site appeared on OleBrats’ Blogroll. Dad’s more interested now; I’m THAT interesting to read. HAHA. :D)

And hey, I write cause I like getting things sorted out in words. BUT, the more personal the audience, the scarier. But I write more than/ as much as I talk; very well then, may this my other voice.

If you’re reading, why thank you, I’m interesting, eh?

Reading myself, I feel silly. I’ll shrink and delete posts. :(

---

 
so jenyeen. :p :p
Taken in the presence of kiddos that dont mind me kissing the camera.

Everyone’s heading to the movies. I’m going to be alone in class tomorrow. :(

what i did instead of AAR

15 hours of sleep later, :D :D

 

I’m sorry I’ve spread camera-love influence on the youngers, but hey, it’s better than a closet full of pink!  XD

val, the twilight infested brain, was too quiet to join our noisy hullabaloo.

I really really love most of my Editors. Their response makes me melt as much as chick flicks. <3

I eat my cold lunch as supper. YUCKS.

 

I noticed we take loads of pictures during parties for the sole reason of Facebook attention. –.-

Reading about girls as a girl, relationship wise, makes females look silly.

you know, I no longer have interesting things to say. try i wont, goodnight.